Impersonating the Love Guru

How many times do you hear a guy rant about how “all girls” are shallow and don’t care about honesty, trampling all over their hearts. Then the same time here girls talk about how “all guys” act the exact same way. Honestly, I’m sick of it. I feel like the generalization of people dehumanizes them and is just plain immature.

I guess the major root of all this is the bitterness cause by failed relationships (or almost relationships) that seems to completely shape people’s paradigm of the opposite sex. Well, maybe that’s valid… to some degree. However, there are a few generalizations made about guys and girls that have always gotten on my nerves. Here is a few:
All girls friendzone the “good guys”. Ok, there are three problems with this. First of all, most guys who I have heard complain about being ‘friendzoned’ have never bothered to even ASK the girl out. Okay, you cannot complain about that if you don’t even have the guts to be assertive enough and ASK! She is not a mind reader.

 There’s a reason I never root for the best friend in books. You’ve known this girl for years, why suddenly when she’s into someone else you decide to tell her you love her. Like can you not?

Secondly, the other hand is the guys who do ask and the girl tells them she just sees them as a friend and they get mad. She is entitled to her own emotions and you can’t FORCE her to like you back. Some even just say yes out of pity but when there’s nothing there, there’s nothing there. The fact that you complain about that is very selfish and makes me question your ‘nice guy-ness”. This is also connected to the other myth nice guys finish last which isn’t true. Maybe the reason it’s not working with this person because they aren’t the person for you. You “finish last” because the “one” or whatever is the LAST person you decide to pursue and it’s magic.
The last thing wrong with this is girls are friendzoned just as much as guys… just saying.
All guys are jerks/ all girls are shallow. No, they are not. There are really nice people in the world. Yes there are some but if you just step out of your exclusive bubble and got to know new people, you would find them. Make friends with new people. Honestly, some of the best relationships come out of friendships because you’ve already established that sense of trust and not just liking someone based on their outside appearance. My teacher once talked about how stupid first dates are because people come all dolled up, acting like someone they are not and by the time you find out who they are, they are someone completely different. Also, a lot of people who think other people are shallow or jerks liked/dated those people in the first place based on their looks. If it was truly about whom they were, why are you complaining about it later. You’re just as shallow as they are.
Girls and Guys can’t be good friends without falling for each other. This sounds slightly contradictory to my previous point but it’s not, girls and guys CAN be just friends. Yes, some friendships bloom into more, but if every friendship bloomed then there would be no more friends and everyone would be in polygamous relationships. Your significant other should be your best friend, that doesn’t mean your friend will be your significant other. We live in the 21st century and let’s move on from that.  
Cheating. This isn’t so much a myth as it is a problem with relationships. Frankly, I don’t get it. Why do people cheat? Like I understand you finding someone else—which means you didn’t truly love the first person—but I don’t understand why you have to reel that person along while you hang out with others. If you’re over someone, move on. Why hurt them even more by cheating. I would rather be dumped for someone else than cheated on but stayed with. Also, the “other woman (or man)” baffles me. Why would you want a person who cheats. If they cheated on the previous person, they will with you. The whole affair confuses me. (LOL, get it, affair? :D)
Long Distance Relationships don’t work. I honestly can’t speak in certainty about this subject. I haven’t been in one that works but I know of some that have. My conclusion, some do work. It’s possible but it depends on the people. You know yourself. You know whether or not you can handle it.
Love at first sight. Ok, Disney ruined love—though they did finally get it right in Frozen. You cannot love someone by simply seeing them. You can be infatuated with them and then grow into love but not at that moment you met them. If you say you did, you’re a superficial person because honestly, the only thing you have to go on them is their looks.
Opposites Attract. This is both true and false. Yes, people can be attracted to people different from them, out of curiosity and what not. However, you have to have some stuff in common for a relationship to work. It’s just simple logic. However, two people are supposed to complement each other so the differences you DO have should work in harmony with each other.
Happy couples don’t fight. LOL! That’s the biggest lie. If you never fight, that’s actually a sign that something is wrong. Disagreements—when worked out—make a relationship stronger. Whether it’s a romantic one, family one, friendship, etc. People have varying opinions and they clash sometimes, it’s how you deal with it that matters.
Love is butterflies in my stomach. I literally wrote a whole post on this.here

So I guess that’s it. I didn’t mean to turn into a love guru or anything, I’m just tired of all the stupid, failed high school stuff and all.

Anyway, Valentine’s is soon so I guess it sorta fits, but my final thought is not rush relationships. I know you’ve heard it a million times but it’s true, when it’s right and it’s time, it will happen. (and that time is not when you’re 12)







Song of the post: Dear No One by Tory Kelly 













Quote of the Post: Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable. -Bruce Lee

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Book Worm Love

I love reading, I really do and admittedly, I have fallen prey to many of the book fandom craziness that have swept the world. Hunger Games, read it (though in my defense it was when it was only mildly popular and way before the first movie.) Series of unfortunate events, Narnia, all read when I was 10-11. Alex Rider series. Percy Jackson. Divergent. Fault in our Stars. All of them and a bunch of other obscure series that no one’s really heard of (because I’m hipster like that). Didn’t do Harry Potter though, nothing against it just wasn’t allowed to read it when I was younger and by the time I was, the craze had died down and didn’t feel the need to, though one day I will. Twilight. No. Okay, my introduction to twilight was around the time the first movie came out. All my friends were reading it; I was in middle school so I thought, why not? Watched the first two movies, found it boring; read half of the first book, fell asleep. I just couldn’t get myself into it and Edward creeped me out with his stalking thing. I mean, I’d personally be like:

What I do remember doing is Wikipedia-ing the ending. Okay, was I the only person who thought it was weird, no, disturbing that Jacob fell in love with an infant? Sure she grew up fast and all but she was a BABY!!! Why are we seeing this glorification of pedophilia and just being like aww, it’s so sweet. They are imprinted forever.  That’s more of a nope moment.

I think the Youtuber, Alex Day also ruined it for me because of his series a couple years ago. That was also when any shred of respect for it completely left. I prefer to keep my brain cells, thank you very much and go read some… Shakespeare or something.
I know it sounds like I threw in Shakespeare as a random, well referenced author but I do legitimately like reading him, especially the comedies. (Favourite play is As You like It) His stories are humorous and clever and somehow relatable, all written in beautiful language—though admittedly, sometimes you need a little SparkNotes to appreciate that beauty. Now when I ask you for the name of a Shakespearean play, I’m sure one of the first ones you think about is Romeo and Juliet. That could possibly be the only one I absolutely hate that he wrote. Okay, he must have been slightly high when he wrote that. I think the thing I hate about it the most isn’t the plot itself, it’s more the fact that it has become the epiphany of what love is and that annoys me. Romeo and Juliet were just a bunch of hormonal teenagers who got so many people killed because they couldn’t wait.
 I mean let’s just analyze the ending, (*spoiler alert* but honestly if you don’t know how it ends, that is pretty sad because it’s been out for centuries and is a famous literary work.) Romeo finds Juliet ‘dead’ and kills himself in sorrow, she wakes up and sees him really dead and then kills herself in sorrow. Initial reaction: WTF? Okay, do you know how that story starts? Romeo was in love with some other random girl called Rosaline who wanted to be a nun so that couldn’t work. He met Juliet at a party his friend took him to so he could forget his troubles. Juliet is the freaking rebound girl. THE REBOUND GIRL.  Take that in. It took lover boy Romeo a whole afternoon to get over Rosaline. So if he had just used his common sense and been like, “oh Juliet’s dead. So sad. I’ll mourn her now but life goes on (and you know another girl could walk right in and I’ll ‘fall’ for her too).” Then Juliet would have woken up by now and it would be a happily ever after! Yay! But no, he had to be a stupid teenager. I mean he was what? 15? And Juliet was like 13? And let’s go back to the fact that it was THREE DAYS! Not even a week! Why are these people the romanticized image of love? I do not think at 13 or 15 you know what love is. You might know crush or infatuation or even lust but not love, at least not that kind.
Yeah, so that rant went off but it had to be made. My point is—I don’t even know anymore. Basically, Valentine’s Day is coming soon and I think the whole forever alone-ness moping part of me is creeping out. Anyway, love is… not something you find in 3 days at 13-15 years of age and is not some creepy guy watching you sleep. Also books are cool.
Yup, that was the point I was making. (It was probably gonna be some inspirational thing about the power of books and words but whatever).
Song of the Post: S.A.D. by Joseph Vincent
Quote of the Post:Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.-Albert Einstein

Introduction to Confusion

As a teenager living in a post modern society, one thing you are never lacking in is opinions. Everybody is ready to give you their view and ‘knowledge’ on that topic that they’ve only read a tweet about and obviously are now experts on. As I start my last year of high school, this misguided advice has only grown exponentially which has done everything but help me. I, like many seniors, have been struggling with anxiety over my future this last few weeks and I’ve only been back in school for two! This uneasiness and confusion is only fueled by the constant thoughts of the adults with good intentions but cliche and unhelpful advice. How have I been coping with this constant state of internal turmoil? By taking it one day at a time-distracting myself with everyday tasks and chores- which incidentally, is yet another cliche. A cliche that works so I think it should, at least, be given some credit.
On the topic of distractions, a subject that has been on captivating my mind recently is love. I attend a public Catholic high school in Ontario (Which is basically public school with a mandatory religion class each year). In my religion class, we’ve been studying ethics and, more specifically, love and it’s relation to us as human beings. Love has always been something that has bothered me; mostly because of its inaccurate and skewed portrayal in media and our society in general. Love is that gooey feeling you feel for that cute guy you’ve known for a month according to most romantic comedies. You can’t help it, it just happens. 
It’s not. 
First of all, let me establish that the previous definition of love is in fact one of infatuation or -dare I say- simply lust. Love is something so much more. Love is not just a emotion because emotions are just chemicals in our brain reacting in different ways-purely physical. Love involves both the human body and spirit. It is a choice. A choice to put your own feelings, comforts, and self behind someone else (be that a significant other, child, or friend). The complete surrendering of self. That is why the whole ‘love at first sight’ is a load of baloney. Yes, I acknowledge those couples who say they just ‘knew’ when they first met but from a more objective standpoint, I believe that sure, they might have liked each other (infatuation) at first sight but love… that grew in later. The best words I can use to summarize this is a quote from Deus Caritas Est by Pope Benedict XVI which says :

“Love is indeed ‘ecstasy’, not in the sense of a moment of intoxication, but rather as a journey, an ongoing exodus out of the closed inward-looking self towards its liberation self-giving…”

Love is selfless, so selfless in fact that true love only wishes for the happiness of the other, even when that love is not reciprocated. I believe this is one of the reasons for the increase in divorces in the last couple of decades. People are so consumed with the gooey feeling stage of a relationship, they don’t ever develop the true selfless love stage and when things take a turn for the worse, they are ill-equipped to cope. This is also why love is one of the most overused and misused words of today. This is also why there are so many Taylor Swift songs (sorry, I had to).  I know what some of you are thinking. You’re thinking I’m just a kid (17 years old if you were wondering) what do I know about love. I will not claim to be an expert or even to have experienced it (maybe once I came close but that’s a story for another day). However, don’t they say truth comes ‘from the mouths of babes’ or something along those lines. All I ask is that you take what I’ve written into consideration.

This post took a more philosophical turn than I expected and I should mention that not every post will be like this. I plan for this blog to be almost a journal of my thoughts and current state of mind which sometimes may be something  light or something with more substance. 
That is all for now, thank you for reading
Natalie 
Song of the Post: Man Who Won’t Be Moved by The Script
Quote of the Post: (Another one from Deus Caritas Est) “It is part of love’s growth towards higher levels and inward purification that it now seeks to become definitive, and it does so in a twofold sense: both in the sense of exclusivity… and in the sense of being ‘forever'”