Book Worm Love

I love reading, I really do and admittedly, I have fallen prey to many of the book fandom craziness that have swept the world. Hunger Games, read it (though in my defense it was when it was only mildly popular and way before the first movie.) Series of unfortunate events, Narnia, all read when I was 10-11. Alex Rider series. Percy Jackson. Divergent. Fault in our Stars. All of them and a bunch of other obscure series that no one’s really heard of (because I’m hipster like that). Didn’t do Harry Potter though, nothing against it just wasn’t allowed to read it when I was younger and by the time I was, the craze had died down and didn’t feel the need to, though one day I will. Twilight. No. Okay, my introduction to twilight was around the time the first movie came out. All my friends were reading it; I was in middle school so I thought, why not? Watched the first two movies, found it boring; read half of the first book, fell asleep. I just couldn’t get myself into it and Edward creeped me out with his stalking thing. I mean, I’d personally be like:

What I do remember doing is Wikipedia-ing the ending. Okay, was I the only person who thought it was weird, no, disturbing that Jacob fell in love with an infant? Sure she grew up fast and all but she was a BABY!!! Why are we seeing this glorification of pedophilia and just being like aww, it’s so sweet. They are imprinted forever.  That’s more of a nope moment.

I think the Youtuber, Alex Day also ruined it for me because of his series a couple years ago. That was also when any shred of respect for it completely left. I prefer to keep my brain cells, thank you very much and go read some… Shakespeare or something.
I know it sounds like I threw in Shakespeare as a random, well referenced author but I do legitimately like reading him, especially the comedies. (Favourite play is As You like It) His stories are humorous and clever and somehow relatable, all written in beautiful language—though admittedly, sometimes you need a little SparkNotes to appreciate that beauty. Now when I ask you for the name of a Shakespearean play, I’m sure one of the first ones you think about is Romeo and Juliet. That could possibly be the only one I absolutely hate that he wrote. Okay, he must have been slightly high when he wrote that. I think the thing I hate about it the most isn’t the plot itself, it’s more the fact that it has become the epiphany of what love is and that annoys me. Romeo and Juliet were just a bunch of hormonal teenagers who got so many people killed because they couldn’t wait.
 I mean let’s just analyze the ending, (*spoiler alert* but honestly if you don’t know how it ends, that is pretty sad because it’s been out for centuries and is a famous literary work.) Romeo finds Juliet ‘dead’ and kills himself in sorrow, she wakes up and sees him really dead and then kills herself in sorrow. Initial reaction: WTF? Okay, do you know how that story starts? Romeo was in love with some other random girl called Rosaline who wanted to be a nun so that couldn’t work. He met Juliet at a party his friend took him to so he could forget his troubles. Juliet is the freaking rebound girl. THE REBOUND GIRL.  Take that in. It took lover boy Romeo a whole afternoon to get over Rosaline. So if he had just used his common sense and been like, “oh Juliet’s dead. So sad. I’ll mourn her now but life goes on (and you know another girl could walk right in and I’ll ‘fall’ for her too).” Then Juliet would have woken up by now and it would be a happily ever after! Yay! But no, he had to be a stupid teenager. I mean he was what? 15? And Juliet was like 13? And let’s go back to the fact that it was THREE DAYS! Not even a week! Why are these people the romanticized image of love? I do not think at 13 or 15 you know what love is. You might know crush or infatuation or even lust but not love, at least not that kind.
Yeah, so that rant went off but it had to be made. My point is—I don’t even know anymore. Basically, Valentine’s Day is coming soon and I think the whole forever alone-ness moping part of me is creeping out. Anyway, love is… not something you find in 3 days at 13-15 years of age and is not some creepy guy watching you sleep. Also books are cool.
Yup, that was the point I was making. (It was probably gonna be some inspirational thing about the power of books and words but whatever).
Song of the Post: S.A.D. by Joseph Vincent
Quote of the Post:Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former.-Albert Einstein

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How to rule the world

Disclaimer: Everything in the post is for completely comedic purposes and should not be taken seriously. If by some chance you do take it seriously and use the plans and/or ideas talked about in this and it actually works, I would like some sort of recognition preferably in the monetary form. If the person and/or group that does this is an evil dictator and/or organization, then I ask for a place in your government however if you are overthrown, I will turn on you. Actually, it would be a lot easier if you just give me money because I’m graduating soon and it would be nice to not have to take student loans. If this is the CIA, NSA and all other organizations ending with A (not forgetting the FBI, INTERPOL, and NCIS) and you are considering putting me on a terrorist watch list, please refer to the first sentence of this disclaimer. You’re all watching me anyway and know I’m not a threat.
Have you noticed how every blockbuster movie has evil men trying to take over the world with the States as their primary target—word of advice, when aliens attack, do not go to New York. No offence to the home of the brave and the free but anyone who has even minor knowledge of how the world runs wouldn’t target the them first. Yes, they are a world power but with their current expanding debt and their growing obesity, they would not come into my own personal plan of world domination.
Now I’m not saying that I want to take over the world, don’t get me wrong. I’m just expressing my opinion of how I would do it if I were a powerful, power hungry war mogul who had her mind set on ruling the planet. Lucky for everyone, I’m just a seventeen year old girl who thinks that’s too much work and I have finals in 3 weeks.
So my plan for ruling the world is a mixture of simple political manipulation and simple creative imagination. The first thing I’d do is seize control of the Strait of Hormuz and the Bab el_Mandab, allowing me to control a major oil route and restrict access to many countries. How I will do that, like I said exams are in 3 weeks and I don’t have time to work out the kinks though I figure it will involve me becoming a charismatic leader with a great following—I’m thinking hipsters—and creating a private army. On the other hand,  I could just make it an army of angsty teenage soldiers who will do what I say because first, I’ll kidnap a couple popular icons (Justin Bieber, One Direction, Benedict Cumberbatch, David Tennant, Matt Smith, etc), hold them at gunpoint (or pay them meaning before all this I’ll have to rob a bank) allowing me to use them to use their fan girls. I mean that kind dedication is just what I need when trying to take over the world. I’ll also become friends with Russia (Well it will be more like, “Hey Russia, I’ll give you cheap oil if you do whatever I say” kind of friendship) and employing the use of the military. I would use the States military but they are way too patriotic to let a non American use it so that’s ruled out. 
The next thing I will have do is befriend China( by befriend, I’m talking about the same dealio—did I just say that—that I have with Russia. Then I’ll have China stop financing other countries and the economies of these countries go back into recession. Now of course the other countries will try and stop me, but with the lack of oil, lack of China’s money coupled with the Russia’s nukes, they won’t be able or willing to do much without careful consideration. So I’ll agree to a diplomatic meeting—through video chat because if I meet them in person, they’ll probably try and assassinate me. Also, I think it’s best to never reveal my identity just because if all this fails, they’d never expect a random teenage girl to do all this, and I’ll be good. Anyway, in this diplomatic meeting I’ll promise to let the countries get on with their business, give the oil, money and what not if they sign a treaty giving me absolute power. J
One thing I fail to mention is that I wouldn’t be a crazy-selfish apocalyptic dictator. No, I’d be very good in fixing the world’s problems. I’d hire a very extremist friend of mine, SD, as a director of threat eliminating who will… wow, that’s a whole other issue right there. Then I’ll divide and distribute goods better than they are right now. I mean I know it sounds a little communism-y but it won’t be. It would be like a socialist/imperialistic mixure where everyone will be fed and have adequate opportunities but—you know—you still have to work and stuff. So like Canada but worldwide.
But like I said, “ain’t nobody got time for that,” and my religion exam is gonna be brutal.
Quote of the Post: Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.-Abraham Lincoln

Song of the Post: Mad World- Gary Jules

Re-evaluating Imagination

I don’t think I’m going to do the whole Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy—well, maybe her—with my kids… if I have any. You must be flabbergasted at that statement. Why would I deprive my future kids of their childhood? Well, why would I encourage some fantasy to my kids that I’m just going destroy and devastate them later on in life? I know that sounds weird—like I’m talking in terms of an adult not a kid, but I never believed in Santa or the Easter Bunny. Nobody told me they weren’t real, I just was a logical child about stuff like that. The only one that got me was the tooth fairy because ‘she’ visited me at a friend’s house and it baffled me how even when I wasn’t home, I still got money.
However, I still had a great childhood. In a way, knowing that it was my parents who put those presents under the tree or hid the chocolate eggs at Easter was better. I mean, even when times were hard and I knew my parents were struggling financially, there would still be gifts on the best day of the year. You can’t help but feel loved. I mean if I wanted say—an iPad—for Christmas, but my parents couldn’t afford it but they get me a bunch of clothes and smaller gifts instead, you know how much they care and the gifts mean so much more. If I believed in Santa, I would feel terrible because…c’mon, it’s SANTA, he’s loaded, where’s my iPad? Being a child, I would be so broken hearted, maybe even throw a tantrum. It’s just not worth the supposed ‘magic’ of believing.
Why should I believe in a mythical creature anyway? What is this magic you speak of? So I believe in a fat old man and his little helpers, or a bunny that somehow has loads of eggs to give—where does he even get the eggs from? He’s like some master thief or something—I digress. Is the magic of the holidays what they represent? Christmas and the gift God gave us, Easter and the Sacrifice He made? Why don’t we encourage this part of the holidays? Why isn’t generosity—‘tis better to give than to receive—, love, joy, thankfulness, etc promoted instead?
Anyway, back to my childhood. I was a happy child. I grew up normally. I know I said I was logical and all, but I also had an imagination. Remember pretending the ground was lava—I still do that—or building a fort/cave thingy-ma-bob out of pillows and couch cushions? That was my thing! I remember pretending to be a spy, a princess, a mum, an animal with my friends. I loved the game of make-believe. I need to be LIED to by my parents in order to have a great childhood.
The long and short of it is, I’m pretend Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, etc are real. I’ll tell them about it, I mean, they still have to watch great movies like The Santa Claus; Elf; Rise of the Guardians, etc, but just for fun, for enjoyment.
Or maybe I’m being overly logical.
Quote of the Post: Imagination is more important than knowledge… Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.—Albert Einstein